The Politically Incorrect

JOKE OF THE YEAR 2020

Weiss,Ashley.(2020, Dec 30). (Untitled). [Twitter status update]. Retrieved Dec 30, 2020 from https://twitter.com/AshleyWeis4/status/1344324945619406849

At Your Wits’ End?

Fernandez, Gemma. (2020, May 27). “😁” [Facebook Update]. Retrieved May 27, 2020 from https://www.facebook.com/gemma.fernandez.1420.

Year of the Rat

This COVID Year

Chelvan, Rachel. (2020, May 22). (Untitled). [Facebook repost from Clarence Chee]. Retrieved May 22, 2020 from https://www.facebook.com/rachel.chelvan.

Yes, That Year

(If you're a mlllennial, ask your dad to explain.)

(If you’re a mlllennial, ask your dad about this one.)

Humor and giggles. (2020, May 21). (Untitled). [Facebook Update]. Retrieved May 22, 2020 from Humor and giggles.

Never Late Now

Kentuckiana Humor. (2020, Apr 9). (Untitled). [Facebook Update]. Retrieved Apr 16, 2020 from Kentuckiana Humor.

Missing Papers

The Covid-19 Crisis

Beautiful Girl Thoughts. (2020, Mar 17). (Untitiled). [Public Facebook Update]. Retrieved Mar 17, 2020 from https://www.facebook.com/734923653229115/photos/a.735105113210969/2796696690385124/?type=3&theater

The COVID-19 American Emergency

Humor is contagious. (2020, Mar 3).”Source: reddit.com/u/MrFluffyWhale” [Facebook Update]. Retrieved Mar 3, 2020 from https://www.facebook.com/Humoriscontagious1/photos/a.387978464578187/3815354201840579/?type=3&theater

The Games We Play

Ozil, Jemimah. (Feb 14, 2020). (Untitled). [Public Facebook Update]. Retrieved Feb 14, 2020 from https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=3140818012637694&set=a.109504595769066&type=3&theater

I Love Barbecue

theblaze.com (2019, Apr 22). Trump-supporting BBQ food truck sells anti-PC shirts redefining ‘LGBTQ’ — and the liberal outrage mob pounces [Web Log Post]. Retrieved Apr 23, 2019 from https://www.theblaze.com/news/kentucky-bbq-truck-lgbtq-shirts?utm_content=buffer75fa6&utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_campaign=glennbeck&fbclid=IwAR35UaN2HKdOGOj20AEKB6efgAtePJJW0SAQDo5kNJtlwt4T3QVHT5ctg_E

Today’s Special

“Only $25 million / shot.”

Project Republic. (Apr 5, 2019). (Untitled.) [Public Facebook Update]. Retrieved Apr 6, 2019 from https://www.facebook.com/ProjectRepublicToday/photos/a.1659197644379380/2066355056996968/?type=3&theater

Russia Collusion

Anderson, Vern. (2019, Feb 15). Ooh ooh, this one too [Public Facebook Update]. Retrieved Feb 21, 2019 from https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10205514082807111&set=p.10205514082807111&type=3&theater

Border Crisis

Q Great Awakening – News/ MAGA. (2019, Feb 15). (Untitled). [Public Facebook Update]. Retrieved Feb 21, 2019 from https://www.facebook.com/Q.WWG1WGA/photos/a.575236476173376/773135929716762/?type=3&theater

Making Light of the Festival of Lights

Jimmy Kimmel Live. (2018, Dec 3). Kids Tell Us What They Know About Hanukkah [Vid Post]. Retrieved Dec 7, 2018 from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dfHrjOLhR60

Who Owns the Zebra?

Wiki Video Tn. (2017, Dec 20). Take back the crosswalks. [Vid Post]. Retrieved Jul 16, 2018 from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sbcgL5LSM7o

The Unfunny Under the Sea

comicbew.com. (2017, Aug 14). The Little Mermaid 2017. [Web Log Post]. Comicbew. Retrieved Jul 16, 2018 from http://comicbew.com/post/163801922045/little-mermaid-2017

Love It Or Hate It

The Federalist Papers. (2018, Jun 29). Hilarious! [Facebook Update]. Retrieved Jul 3, 2018 from https://www.facebook.com/TheFederalistPapers/photos/a.112478365457075.7231.107705785934333/1941126429258917/?type=3&theater

The Gun Debate

The One Sarcastic Page. (2018, May 30). (Untitled). [Public Facebook Update]. Retrieved June 2, 2018 from https://www.facebook.com/1737393163244941/photos/a.1921857611465161.1073741829.1737393163244941/2035231990127722/?type=3&theater

On Dogs and Blind Men

Better late than never for this year’s April Fool’s? Here’s some witty short liners from PunME. pun.me admin. (Undated). 35 Genuinely Funny Jokes which actually make you laugh! [Web Log Post]. pun.me. Retrieved Apr 7, 2018 from http://pun.me/pages/funny-jokes.php

This Bar Bans “Annoying” Kardashian Vocab “Literally” In Its Premises

Seriously? I think “seriously” is more annoying.

Hickey, Magee. (2018, Jan. 27). East Village bar bans the use of the word ‘literally’. [Feature Article]. Tribune. Retrieved Jan. 27, 2018 from https://www.aol.com/article/news/2018/01/27/east-village-bar-bans-the-use-of-the-word-literally/23345369/

Goalcast. (2017, Oct 5). The Most Inspiring Speech: The Wisdom of a Third Grade Dropout Will Change Your Life – Rick Rigsby. [Vid Post]. Retrieved Oct 12, 2017 from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bg_Q7KYWG1g

The Bald Eagle’s New Hair

“Bald Eagle Ain’t Bald No More?” “The Eagle has Blonded!”

Mark Gungor. (2017, Jan 20). (Untitled). [Public Facebook update]. Retrieved Jan 27, 2017, from https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10154428324263253&set=a.10151451615668253.1073741825.632378252&type=3&theater

Presidential Inauguration Gaffe (Guess Which President)

“Rain, rain, go away, It’s The Donald’s Inauguration Day!” (See who’s smiling behind.)

CBS News. (2017, Jan 20). George W. Bush struggles with his poncho at Trump’s inauguration. Retrieved Jan 21, 2017, from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ntYZK9ZMCaA

Definitely, positively, beyond a doubt politically incorrect but so adorably funny.

Shanghaiist. (2017, Jan 13). Hate to see you go, but love to watch you leave. [Public Facebook update]. Retrieved Jan 14, 2017, from https://www.facebook.com/shanghaiist/videos/10155358284981030/?hc_ref=NEWSFEED

Post at your Own Risk

“Post AND Perish!”

DanoXion-Force Aronix. (2016, Nov 20). When you state your opinion on the internet. [Vid post]. Retrieved Jan 13, 2017, from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BPAeVYgbw4U

101 Dalmatians – Abortion 101

The Beast-Attitudes?

Youth for Life – Y4L. (2017, Jan 6). (Untitled). [Facebook update]. Retrieved Jan 8, 2017, from https://www.facebook.com/youth4lifeandpizza/photos/a.1487359954815384.1073741828.1487209164830463/1846907645527278/?type=3&hc_ref=NEWSFEED

What D’ya Think?

A la mode or maternity mannequin mix-up? Pick your wild!

93.7 B-3. (2015, Dec 27). Finally making realistic mannequins in the men’s department?! [Facebook post]. Retrieved Jan 4, 2017, from https://www.facebook.com/93.7B93/photos/a.10150564692876759.371752.60147261758/10153198417596759/?type=3&theater

The Great Debate

Michael Berry. (2016, Sept 27). (Untitled) [Facebook update]. Retrieved Sept 27, 2016, from https://www.facebook.com/MichaelBerryFanPage/photos/a.363467236699.163471.115017781699/10153849356226700/?type=3&theater

Money Morphs

IMuiMui. (2016, Sep 9). Related Articles: 2016 don’t get the wrong old fashioned makeup! These make-up are outdated! [Facebook update]. Retrieved Sept. 14, 2016, from https://www.facebook.com/LikeMuiMui/videos/889968067802208/

Gender Confusion 101

Mum’s Grapevine. (2014, Apr 13). Oh. [Facebook update]. Retrieved Aug 23, 2016, from https://www.facebook.com/mumsgrapevine/photos/a.55434229734.66889.32720104734/10152163930164735/?type=3&theater

As Serious as It is Funny

The epic tale of missing dads… and grand-dads.

Men Against Abortion. (2016, Aug 16). Powerful! ~Scott [Facebook update]. Retrieved Aug 16, 2016, from https://www.facebook.com/MenAgainstAbortion/photos/a.161467930637158.32837.158016797648938/1068372013280074/?type=3&theater

Brexit Shows the Way?

Michael Makovi. (2016, June 24). Brexit. [Facebook update]. Retrieved June 26, 2016, from https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10157034324400285&set=a.10150158676710285.417324.568980284&type=3&theater

Change!

Scott Hahn. (2015, Feb 4). (Untitled) [Facebook update]. Retrieved Apr 23, 2016, from https://www.facebook.com/165171813503937/photos/a.645973518757095.1073741826.165171813503937/876511772369934/?type=3&theater

Warm and Cold Animals

Terry A. Rust. (2015, Dec. 27). The chef in me! [Facebook update]. Retrieved Dec. 30, 2015, from https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10153450554253577&set=a.10152713530393577.1073741828.673163576&type=3&theater

Ankit chaturvedi. (2007, Oct 9). Why Italian Restaurants Failed in Dubai. [Vid post]. Retrieved Feb 3, 2016, from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g5bBz3KUV34

HuffPost Entertainment. (2015, Aug 28). Donald Trump Says “China”. [Vid post]. Retrieved Feb 24, 2016, from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RDrfE9I8_hs

An English Proclamation

To the citizens of the United States of

America From Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II

In light of the possibility of nominating an Incompetent

Candidate for President of the USA (your so-called Trump

Card) and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice

Of the revocation of your independence, effective

Immediately. (You should look up ‘revocation’ in the

Oxford English Dictionary.)

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume

Monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and

Territories (except North Dakota, which she does not Fancy).

Your new Prime Minister, David Cameron, will appoint a

Governor for America without the need for further elections.

Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to

determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the

following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

———————–

1. The letter ‘U’ will be reinstated in Words such

as ‘colour,’ ‘favour,’ ‘labour’ and ‘neighbour.’ Likewise, you will learn to

Spell ‘doughnut’ without skipping half the letters,

and the suffix ‘-ize’ will be replaced by the suffix ‘-ise.’ Generally, you will be

expected to Raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels.

(look up ‘vocabulary’).

————————

2. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as ”like’ and ‘you know’ are an unacceptable and inefficient form of

communication. There is no such thing as U.S English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft

Spell-checker will be adjusted to take into account the reinstated letter ‘u” and the elimination of ‘-ize.’

——————-

3. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.

—————–

4. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using

guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need

so many lawyers and therapists shows that you’re not

quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be

used for shooting grouse. If you can’t sort things

out without suing someone or speaking to a

therapist, then you’re not ready to shoot grouse.

———————-

5. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own

or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler,

although a permit will be required if you wish to

carry a vegetable peeler in public.

———————-

6. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and

you will start driving on the left side with immediate

effect. At the same time, you will go metric with

immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion

tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you

understand the British sense of humour.

——————–

7. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol

(which you have been calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US

gallon. Get used to it.

——————-

8. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you

call French fries are not real chips, and those things you

insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in

animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.

——————-

9. The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is

not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper

British bitter will be referred to as beer, and European

brews of known and accepted provenance will be

referred to as lager. South African beer is also

acceptable, as they are pound for pound the greatest

sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the

beer. They are also part of the British Commonwealth –

see what it did for them. American brands will be

referred to as ‘near-frozen gnat’s urine’, so that all can

be sold without risk of further confusion.

———————

10. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English

actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required

to cast English actors to play English characters.

Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialect in Four

Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having

one’s ears removed with a cheese grater.

———————

11. You will cease playing American football. There is

Only one kind of proper football; you call it Soccer.

Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed

to play Rugby (which has some similarities to American

Football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty

seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies).

———————

12. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not

reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a

game which is not played outside of America. Since

only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your

borders, your error is understandable. You will learn

cricket, and we will let you face the South Africans first

to take the sting out of their deliveries.

——————–

13.. You must tell us who killed JFK. It’s been driving us mad.

—————–

14. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her

Majesty’s Government will be with you shortly to ensure

the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).

—————

15. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 p.m. With proper

cups, with saucers, and never mugs, with high quality

biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with

cream) when in season.

God Save the Queen!

As circulated by email. Retrieved Mar 20, 2016.

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