The Chicken that Keeps Crossing the Road (and Other Nerdy Jokes)

It’s a No-Brainer Who Wins Here

tenses

Analytical Grammar/Grammar Planet. (2019, May 10). Your Friday #funny [Public Facebook Update]. Retrieved May 13, 2019 from https://www.facebook.com/analyticalgrammar/photos/a.167941616890/10156120635091891/?type=3&theater

Swiss National

SwissPirate

Archaeology/History Jokes & Puns (Or GTFO!). (2019, Apr 7). (Untitled). [Public Facebook Update]. Retrieved Apr 8, 2019 from https://www.facebook.com/groups/397528990633871/permalink/802105346842898/

Epoch Coolness

hashtags

The Student Music Organizer. (2019, Mar 28). A musical smile for Thursday…..thanks to New Horizons Music Studio for sharing….. [Public Facebook Update]. Retrieved Mar 30, 2019 from https://www.facebook.com/studentmusicorganizer/photos/a.239301002775069/2202626229775860/?type=3&theater

 

Perfect Plex. (2017, Oct 12). The Worst Person to Play Pictionary With. [Vid Post]. Retrieved Oct 12, 2017 from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=otUGjdvD2hQ

You Rollin’ with the Punches These Days?

roll punches

UnKNOWN PUNster. (2017, Aug 16). I knead to get in the punch line. #UnKNOWN_PUNster [Public Facebook Update]. Retrieved Aug 16, 2017, from https://www.facebook.com/UnknownPuNster/photos/a.1071414159590618.1073741826.378353965563311/1466579010074129/?type=3&theater

You Matter, Until…

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Panlilio, Victor. (2017, May 8). :). [Public Facebook Update]. Retrieved May 8, 2017 from https://www.facebook.com/victor.panlilio/posts/10155199003845645

Astrid’s “Ugh!” Mug

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Pic shared by Astrid Oviedo on Facebook. (2016, Dec 21).(Untitled; Used with permission.) Retrieved on Dec 21, 2016, from https://www.facebook.com/

 

 

Here’s the latest! Recently spotted near Nashville, Tennessee!

 

chicken crossing

Did she ever make it to the other side? I always see her in the middle of the road.

So why did the chicken cross the road?

SARAH PALIN: The chicken crossed the road because, gosh-darn it, he’s a maverick!

BARACK OBAMA: Let me be perfectly clear, if the chickens like their eggs they can keep their eggs. No chicken will be required to cross the road to surrender her eggs. Period.

JOHN McCAIN: My friends, the chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON: What difference at this point does it make why the chicken crossed the road?

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don’t really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or against us. There is no middle ground here.

DICK CHENEY: Where’s my gun?

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken.

AL GORE: I invented the chicken…. and the road.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken’s intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white?

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won’t realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he is acting by not taking on his current problems before adding any new problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross the road so badly. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I’m going to give this chicken a NEW CAR so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

ANDERSON COOPER: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he’s guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way the chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer’s Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I’ve not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

DONALD TRUMP: We should build a wall so the chicken can’t cross the road.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn’t that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2014, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2014. This new platform is much more stable and will never reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

Storts, Gary. (2015, Aug. 9). So Why Did The Chicken Cross the Road? [Public Facebook Post]. From https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10153501558714253&set=a.356758739252.154346.501134252&type=3&theater Accessed via friend repost on Jan. 26, 2016.

Beatles Chicken

Yup, the crossing never ends!

Pure Nature. Feb 14, 2016. Describe this photo with at-least ONE word!! [Public Facebook Post]. From https://www.facebook.com/Pure.Nature.Page/photos/a.513120358724067.1073741828.512896218746481/990206141015484/?type=3&theater Accessed via friend repost on Feb 15, 2016.

Perfect Lay

Giphy Admin.(Undated). Game Animated Gif [gif post]. Retrieved Dec 23, 2016 from http://giphy.com/gifs/game-chicken-pull-ghvln0ZzcfLS8

Grilled Chicken

Grilled Chicken

Science Humor. (2019, Feb 26). (Untitled). [Public Facebook Update]. Retrieved Feb 26, 2019 from https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=763978650627894&set=gm.2409180855811623&type=3&theater

 

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